Unkle Munky Pg 118
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is high... Artist - Royksopp. Song - Happy up Here. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Free Umbrella Offer. ---- Memo Munky, why are you wearing a paper shredder around your neck? Unkle Munky replies -''' That's none of your business, Ms. Sickness. Please get on with your pretend duties! ''Ms. Motion Sickness asks - You got your tie caught in it again didn't you? Unkle Munky says -''' Ahem. Might have... ---- Lent Craig from Merseyside asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Will you be making any sacrifices for Lent? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Craig, I have decided to sacrifice tomatoes for the period known as Lent. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - But you're not keen on tomatoes anyway, Munky?'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Exactly! It'll be easy. ---- I Bet Michael Caine Doesn't Know That! This week, Unkle Munky is betting that Michael Caine has absolutely no idea about the following fact; The average Man can expect to ejaculate approximately two buckets of semen in his lifetime. Michael Caine answers - Hello? 'Unkle Munky says -' Hello. Is that Michael Caine? Michael Caine - Yes, yes it is... 'Unkle Munky says -' Hello, Michael. Tell me, how much semen can the average man expect to ejaculate in his lifetime? Michael Caine replies - Who is this!? ---- Tempt 'Unkle Munky says -' Phooaarrrr. Don't mind if I do. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - But you can't Munky. You've given them up for Lent! Unkle Munky replies -''' Shut it, Mary! ---- Advertisement ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - U2 must be shittin' themselves...'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Just be quiet and get on with your pretend typing, Mary! Disgraceful Behaviour! ---- Turds in Space Warren from Stevenage asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that early space shuttle test flights were flown by flies? I suspect my mate is pulling my plonker again and no mistake! 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Warren, I have consulted the relative authorities and can confirm that early space shuttle test flights were indeed manned by flies. You really must have more faith in your friend's counsel! ---- The Big Book of Unreasonable Demands Margaret from Nottingham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I can't see the woods for the gasworks! Can I make a claim? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Margaret, 'The Big Book of Unreasonable Demands' states that a claim can only be made if said woods are concealed by trees. I hope this helps. ---- UK Munky Gold Plus One '''This week's Episode: Feng Shui Surprise. Bodie is troubled by Doyle’s tendency to rearrange the furniture at crime scenes. '' ---- It'll all Cum Out in the Wash Rob from Layton asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I've just caught my girlfriend's mother shagging the washing machine repair man! What shall I do? '''Unkle Munky says -' Dear Rob, Simply take your laundry to the local laundrette. Some establishments even offer ironing services. Rob replies - What the fuc...? ---- Munky's Twitterings. Munky is now available on [http://twitter.com/UnkleMunky Twitter>>>] ---- Next... Previous... More Munky Here>>> Munky's Twitterings>>>